EDITOR – The other day I was thinking that I was ok with the world, assured that my basic morals were sound and in love with the human race.
It was in this frame of mind that I skipped down to the local Co-op (good with food). I happily handed over my pound to Gill and received my change and copy of the Rasen Mail (I wish the Rasen Mail cost at least £1 so I could receive a point but hey ho).
Having avidly read the fine investigative journalism printed in these pages I arrived at the letters page.
Well, no word of a lie, my heart sunk! As if it was not bad enough for the poor feline population of Market Rasen (the seemingly never ending war against their canine rivals), but a fellow called Stuart had allied himself with the dogs.
Now I appreciate that Stuart may well be a keen gardener and I understand his frustrations at the destruction of his freshly planted border.
But I would remind Stuart that the devil makes work for idle hands and by handing Stuart the task of replanting his border, the cats may have pulled him back from the pits of hell.
So I would liken the cats in this case to angels. If anything he owes that saintly cat a small plate of cream.
Then Stuart complains that the cats have identified his garden borders as the perfect place to go for a dump.
Well if I was Stuart I would be honoured that my garden borders were deemed worthy of these angels. They must indeed be heavenly borders.
I would also point out that these very considerate felines are ensuring that our good friends the ramblers, do not have their hike ruined by standing in faeces placed unthoughtfully in the middle of a pavement.
So in this way the cats are trying far harder to encourage tourism in Market Rasen than anyone trying to charge simple folk for the pleasure of parking in the marketplace.
Then Stuart goes on to target our respected elderly population for looking out for these angels (trying to keep on the right side of god because they are likely to see him soon if you know what I mean).
So Stuart, please give our beloved cats a break. They are not purr-fect, but who is?